That Floating Excrement Was Far Too Meaningful! These Are the Television Letdowns of the Past Year.

As we reflect on the television offerings of the recent year, a handful of shows emerge not for their excellence, but for their spectacular shortcomings. Ranging from cringe-inducing spin-offs to confusingly bad docuseries, here are the programmes that left us scratching our heads or just reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

Where to begin with this love/hate spin-off? Burdened with woeful writing, cringe-inducing arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series fought to justify its existence. Briefly, as the final series started, it looked like it had at last hit its stride. Then came an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the creator announced this would be the final season. It ended on a bum note; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was simply too symbolic. Yet, viewers certainly had a hoot picking apart every single “what on earth?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a little sob?

All’s Fair

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was practically the least of this show's issues. The subject of a very rare no-star assessment, it was difficult to know where to start listing the problems. The hilariously wooden dialogue? The tedious veneration of wealth and consumption? The seemingly deliberate parade of tropes? Performances so poor they felt borderline malicious? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and never speak of this series again. However, a second season has been ordered, so we’re probably going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Considering the legal troubles, domestic violence claims and fatherly failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d really have known it from this three-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless hedonism while failing to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this loose cannon was being indulged, so any sympathy this show might induce should be saved for the people who have had to suffer proximity with this charming but dismissive narcissist.

The Iris Affair

Naturally we knew it was ridiculous from the get-go: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ended up slicing Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.

The Gangster Drama

Dodgy characters convening in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back.

In truth, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to accommodate baffling dialects. But there were plenty of other problems. Mainly that it was just really dull; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various cockney picaresques which felt rather simplistic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Considering the degree to which she grinds the gears of the nation’s performatively enraged commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into quaint lifestyle as intentional provocations. But then you view them and are compelled to concede that actually, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine come to life; a meme for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, Hallmark sayings and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by immense, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are obviously interesting things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, identity, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this three-part series opted not to explore them. Instead, the viewing was like reading a marketing catalogue. She clearly has good reason to bridle at what she describes as her “stern” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any favours with this guarded non-event of a series.

The Inheritance

It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality managing her estate. What more could you ask for? As players battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s still too confusing to explain what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up reeking of a production that was straining desperately to live up to something way beyond it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How does one succeed a show that captured a generation? The expectation was enormous for this starry romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of famous friends involved felt uncomfortable.

The Sketch Show Return

Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the smart inclusion of talented emerging comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a husk but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known irate mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the idea that they should probably have remained in there a while longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be treated with care. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lurching from strangely breezy, somewhat stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A complete mess? Very much so.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We love the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could ruin society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services spying on – and killing off – academics honestly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This hagiography followed the content creator notorious for sexual escapades as she undertook her most extreme challenge yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was far greater examination of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the now-famous mum who appeared to drag her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and zero critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a teenage daughter too.